This blog was about going to France, until it wasn’t. I changed its name to legallyswan, and then this blog was about going to law school, until it wasn’t. Next, … Continue reading queer comfort
i guess she asked for it i guess she should have known better i guess she should have remembered the last time she was alone with a stranger that dissociated … Continue reading should have known better
1L year a sweltering september in black suits, black turtlenecks c-ptsd, anxiety, depression, and not the greatest attitude a shell of a human sitting in chairs among strangers teeth and … Continue reading to the end of an era
This essay contains difficult content about weight, eating disorders, sexual assault, and medical care. Please proceed with care for yourself. I am a fat person who has always been fat … Continue reading I WANT A FAT GYNECOLOGIST
Thank you, Elizabeth Miller, for opening your heart and your class to me. Never underestimate your impact. There are few things that inspire conservative vitriol quite as readily as the … Continue reading what i learned in women & gender studies 101
I was blessed with an excellent writing teacher my senior year of high school, although she didn’t like me at first. On the last day of class, we were allowed … Continue reading a high school english essay
This essay contains content about eating disorders that may be upsetting, please continue with care. Thank you for approaching this tender work with compassion for me, and for yourself. author’s … Continue reading vulnerable: our disordered culture and my disordered eating
you can’t get out now, you’ve been thrust into this wretched wonderful dimension, you are obligated to stay. it hurts and it hurts and you learn and you learn that … Continue reading the wisdom of no escape
some recent thoughts on the “wellness” industry true wellness is not capital. it is inherent, developed slowly from within, grown from seeds of gradual change, unable to be accelerated by … Continue reading dear instagram, wellness is not for sale.
these things i promise you
- i will forgive generously and often.
- i will pour soap and hot water over these limbs even when i can barely drag myself from bed.
- i will eat whole foods and whole pints of ice cream.
- i will look at the moon and press my root to the earth.
- i will bleed in abundance without apology.
- i will love without condition or attachment.
- i will rest without guilt.
- i will walk in the forest and take naps under the stars.
- i will protect my heart from those who cannot revere it.
- i will wash dishes and sweep floors and get up again and get up again.
- i am my own universe and you are my universe, too.
- i am the observer but i must participate.
- i am safe in the here, right now.
- i am immune from the pain of judgment if i can only manage not to judge myself.
- i am resourced enough to always go on, strong enough to keep rising up.
- i will not shave my legs because you say i should.
- i will not eat because you say i should.
- i will not say yes because i feel obligated.
- i will not betray myself to protect your feelings.
- i will not live in the grasp of ultimatums.
- i will not create stories of what other people must think of me.
- i will not ask anyone’s permission.
- i will not lie to make anyone happy.
- i will not starve in hopes of disappearing.
- i will not close my eyes to injustice, to change, to hardship.